Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Life suck much?

I haven't posted for a while :( I have a DANG good reason why...
My life was flipped upside down a week a go today. Worst day of my life. Right in the middle of Mid-terms and a job/promotion interview.
I honestly didn't see it coming. Seriously it hit me like a TON of bricks.
I can't say that I am happy about it. In fact it will take A LOT of time to figure this one out.
If you didn't know I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I loved him, still do. I don't think that I can ever stop loving him. I just need to learn to love him in a different way.
It's crazy isn't it? How fast life can change...2 weeks ago if you asked me what our future was I would say we were going to get married. Now...I feel lost. Like I'm not sure what is going on. I feel like I'm floating with no real purpose now...
Now's the time I need to find a purpose. I don't want to. It's going to be SUPER hard too.
I've tried to find a good thing in this...but I really can't. I know it's only been a week since all this crap happened but I am impatient and I don't want to go through all this.
I want to be happy and not have to go through any kind of...grieving process? is that what it would be called?
I have had my heart broken before but this is nothing compared to that. Imagine the one person or thing you love more then anything taken away in a instant and you never able to be with them. That bit of sorrow you feel doesn't compare. So that is what has been going on. Sorry to depress you but it's my blog. I'm going to be depressing if I want to.

3 comments:

The Bronson Bunch said...

I know a bit of how you feel. Only my broken heart was over little kids leaving my house. Just know that the heartache will get easier to deal with day after day. It's never easy to leave the ones you love no matter the situation. The Lord loves you and is by your side at this rough time for you!

Amanda Bolton said...

Love you Kati Jo. It's hard to love someone and to not have it work out the way you want. I know how you are feeling. I love my husband but I loved before him and it hurt to not have it work out. Things will all go the way they should just keep praying and smiling. I love you!!!

The Woodmans said...

I love you Kati and I know what you're going through. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and will turn out the way it should. Things will get easier I promise. I'm always here to talk and even just listen to you vent if that's what you need. Love you schwilkey sister :) Keep being strong

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