My first Color on a HUMAN BEING!!!!

So today was a very exciting day :)
I was so excited because I was able to help my friend Ali do a color on a client :) and it was my first time!! I have done the applications on my mannequin head before with gel or conditioner but never actual color on a person :)
At first I was super scared because it was FOR real color...not gel.
I was only helping but still this lady trusted Ali and I with her hair...Ali is pro and has done color before but I never have and I was praying my side would look just as good as the other.
we first started off by asking her what she wanted (I didn't ask i just stood there like a dumb ape half way not knowing what was going on) and what she liked.
Once we determined that she wanted to go more red and to foil in some blond we went to mix the color.

all I can say is that mixing color doesn't look that hard but when your trying to get a certain color then it's seems hard. it's nice having an instructor around who knows what to do :)

After all the confusing mixing all I had to remember is apply the color from the scalp to the the line of demarcation. That was fun to do I REALLY like applying color...just now I need to work on figuring out how to mix it and why you mix it that certain way...

After we finished the application we went to work on weaving in 5 foils of blond in her Mohawk.

(the Mohawk is the center section of hair from the front hair line to the curvature of the head)

We made a opps on the blond :( we forgot to leave a spacer in between foils...lucky for us that the instructor caught it and fixed it for us!!! :)

After all was said and done the color turned out good!!! And I have got some new things that I most defiantly need to work on  :)

Sometimes it still hurts...

It's been a month and a half on Wednesday and I think so far I have done pretty good. I can feel myself moving on and letting go each day, but there are those times when it still hurts.
Like times when I see couples walking holding hands. This is my most favorite thing to do. I love it when no matter where we are walking, he would always reach down and grab my hand. That is one feeling that is hard to describe...but I loved it.

In church it seems the worst...watching couples together. Having someone put there arm around you and kiss you on the cheek with no need. I always felt special with him at my side.

But most of all having someone to talk to. He was always there to tell me he loved me and he always wanted to be around me. That felt good to be wanted...now I am alone.
I know I have really great friends and a TERRIFIC family but if you've ever been in love before it's not the same. I could text or call him anytime I was having a hard time and he was always there to help me. I could share anything with him and he would be there no matter what.
That's gone now and it sucks. No one is there to hold me when I cry...all I have is my pillow.

I know this sounds dumb and I should be over it by now but try as I might I still think about it. I wish I didn't and that I was over everything...
So anytime I say I want to do something or I am trying to fill my day you know why...I'm trying to get my mind off my problems because if I stop for a moment to think about everything I break down...and I hate waterproof mascara :(
I've noticed driving in my car is the worst...all alone listening to love songs or break up songs...that time sucks. I wish I had someone in the car with me all the time then I'd be set.
I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't think about him...
Or every time I smell something and it reminds me of him...
Sorry to be a downer but I'm feeling lonely right now. It will get better as time goes on.

Punches

I am now on the Cosmo side and I LOVE IT!! It is so much fun playing with Ladies hair :) Lot's more that you can do...so far I have not been able to work on anyone. I have been assigned to help with 3 perms and so far each perm has not shown up...weird. So all I've been working on is punches.
Oh Punches.
Punches are done on the Lovely Maniquin heads :) Remember Doris?? (I know her name has changed several times...) 

Well she and her new lovely friend Irene are what I get to work on again...hooray :(

Since March 2nd.....

Alot has happened since March 2nd...sorry I am a total slacker but my life has been on the crazy side with school, work, friends, etc I have been running like a chicken with her head cut off.
I FINALLY colored and cut my hair and I LOVE it!!!! I don't think I want long hair again...I like short hair WAY too much :) here are some pics...

this is what I went for...

and this is what I got...

Sorry I look so dumb in my pics...I HATE taking pics of myself...I think it's really weird. I had to cause no one was home to help me...I hope you like it :)

Finding myself

I realized that these past 2 years I lost myself.
I was not my true self, and that makes me sad.
I am trying to find myself and it's been such a crazy experience so far...and it's only been 2 weeks.
I will keep you updated on the progress but so far it's been CRAZY...a good crazy :)
I realized that I really need to focus on myself right now, I'm not sure how long it will take but I know I need time to heal and get back to being me. Getting back to being happy. I also want to thank everyone who has been there to support me in this situation! All my family and friends! you guys are all so amazing for letting me cry and listening to me complain! thank you all SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! I don't think I could get through this without you all!!! I'm not completely healed yet but it's coming along and I know now that I will be ok :) everything will be ok...in time!