Like times when I see couples walking holding hands. This is my most favorite thing to do. I love it when no matter where we are walking, he would always reach down and grab my hand. That is one feeling that is hard to describe...but I loved it.
In church it seems the worst...watching couples together. Having someone put there arm around you and kiss you on the cheek with no need. I always felt special with him at my side.
I know I have really great friends and a TERRIFIC family but if you've ever been in love before it's not the same. I could text or call him anytime I was having a hard time and he was always there to help me. I could share anything with him and he would be there no matter what.
That's gone now and it sucks. No one is there to hold me when I cry...all I have is my pillow.
So anytime I say I want to do something or I am trying to fill my day you know why...I'm trying to get my mind off my problems because if I stop for a moment to think about everything I break down...and I hate waterproof mascara :(
I've noticed driving in my car is the worst...all alone listening to love songs or break up songs...that time sucks. I wish I had someone in the car with me all the time then I'd be set.
I wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't think about him...
Or every time I smell something and it reminds me of him...
Sorry to be a downer but I'm feeling lonely right now. It will get better as time goes on.
2 comments:
i love you kati jo! you are way stronger than you think and it will get easier. you deserve the best :)
First of all, I am not stalking you, I promise!
Next, stop being negative when you speak of yourself. That only hurts you, and the people who care about you.
You shouldn't be "over it by now", you should be over it when you are ready in our good time. You are totally allowed to feel how you decide to feel, and that is ok! I always see your cute status updates, and even though you are sad right now, you really brighten people's day!
The best advice I can give is try to not have bitter feelings because the only person they harm is yourself, they're poison! Remember everyone you meet has had struggles, too, and want to help you! Before I met Dan, I was with a guy who beat me. I had forgotten that I was a tough, loud, and hyperactive chick because my self esteem had taken such a huge hit. But you will recover & be the same ol' girl you once were, and you will be braver & tougher for your hardships. I promise!!
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