Do you ever think...

do you ever think..."what in the heck am i supposed to do now?" hahaha i sure have!
a lot more lately then normal.
if you don't know me then let me tell you i am one of those peeps that just go with the flow. i try not to cause waves too often and i'm content with just riding the waves instead of swimming against them. (where did this surfing metaphor come from?)
if you still know me then you know i'm not patient...at all. i struggle waiting for things to happen. i'm a go getter. i hate waiting for things to happen...i make them happen. lately i've had to step back and put my life into someone else's hands.  and its been hard. a lot of changes have taken place since february and i have no idea whats in store for me. 
i keep telling myself..."the Lord has you kati. he won't let you fall." i just wish i had a way of knowing that everything will be ok...i don't really want to know the future, i like adventure too much to want to know that much. i just want to know that i will be ok.
i'm sorry for all the crazy talk but it's how i feel right now...crazy! 
is it bad to still cry sometimes?
over everything?
cause i had a plan and it's gone south never to return. 
the funny thing about me and planning is that i suck at it ha ha ha :) i can't plan worth crap. i mostly just do things on a wim. but when it comes to life i need to have a game plan. even though i know it will change day by day i can rely on it. it helps me get through each day. helps me from going insane. 
haha this whole blog post is insane.
i have made a pact to myself and all you out there that i am going to stop blubbering about how bad my life is when i know others that have it worse then i do. at least i can see my family and friends. 
this was my last "boo-hoo kati jo" moment online!
i promise to be happy and start living life! no more of this non-sense. 

"the Lord has you and won't let you fall"